What Am I?
I am a many-splendored thing…I make the world go round…People stop in my name…And, apparently, the ultimate version of me is hard to find.
I am love, of course. Easily found by some, yet elusive for others.
I believe relationships aren’t meant to be hard. They should have an ease, a flow, and a positive energy of their own. If a relationship feels like constant struggle, ask yourself: Is this truly worth my time, energy, and emotional investment?
For many, the pursuit of love feels like an exhausting merry-go-round:
Meet and date an unsuitable person.
Break up.
Feel heartbroken and ashamed.
Be single and miserable for a while.
Lick your wounds.
Muster the courage to try again… only to repeat the cycle.
And after all that, they wonder: Why do I keep attracting the wrong people? Why do I end up with partners who are unavailable, untrustworthy, or complicated? Is everyone else just luckier than me? Or… is there something wrong with me?
If this sounds familiar, and you’re ready to step off the ride, keep reading.
Breaking the Cycle
If you find yourself stuck in a pattern that doesn’t bring the results you desire—whether in love or life—you are stuck. And that often stems from a past experience that left a mark on you.
That event may have planted feelings of shame, unworthiness, fear, or suffering deep within you. Over time, these emotions become ingrained, running in the background of your subconscious like an old program you didn’t realise was still operating. And because it’s subconscious—meaning below your conscious awareness—it’s not easy to detect on your own.
By the time we reach our thirties, we’re carrying around these old programs… and so is everyone else we meet.
If you’ve been hurt before—betrayed, lied to, let down—you carry relationship wounds. And if you meet someone who has been through the same pain, you’ll recognise each other’s energy. You’ll connect through shared experiences, rehashing past heartbreaks and unconsciously reinforcing the very wounds you both wish to heal.
At first, this connection might feel like love. But is it really?
When the Illusion Fades
A few months in, when the initial excitement wears off, you might find yourself wondering:"Who is this person?" "Where did the version of them I first met go?"
The truth? They haven’t changed. And neither have you. You both simply reverted to the unconscious patterns you were always carrying. And when those old wounds resurface, the walls go up. You protect your heart. They protect theirs. One or both of you will—often unconsciously—self-sabotage the relationship.
The best relationships are built by two whole, happy individuals who are ready to fully open their hearts. But for so many of us who have been hurt before, finding that level of emotional freedom can feel impossible.
The Real Search for Love
Take a moment and reflect: When we search for love, what are we really looking for? We’re seeking joy, excitement, happiness, fulfilment—feelings that every single one of us deserves.
But what if you cultivated those feelings within yourself first? What if you stepped into your next relationship from that place—whole, fulfilled, and already in love with your own life?
The Shift: Becoming What You Seek
Here’s where the real work begins. Get excited!
Write down everything you want in a partner and a relationship.
Now, focus on becoming that person yourself.
Step into and embody the very traits and qualities you desire in someone else.
Stop looking for love. Looking implies lack. Instead, create a life you love, and let the right person be drawn to you.
Do not wait for someone else to heal your wounds, to complete you, or to make you feel better. Do not wait for love to arrive before you allow yourself to feel joy.Create that feeling within yourself first.
When you are so happy within yourself that you wouldn’t trade places with anyone else…When you release the weight of your past and focus on the present and future…That’s when everything shifts.
Rewrite Your Love Story
Examine your own unconscious patterns—your thoughts, habits, emotional responses. You create your personal reality (your personality). If you don’t change, you will continue to attract and create the same experiences.
This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. No one is. It also doesn’t mean you won’t find love while you’re in the process of growing.But it does mean you’ll approach relationships from a place of wisdom, not fear.
When you truly know yourself, when you love yourself without conditions, when you only want the best for yourself… you’ll recognise, instantly, whether the person you just met is truly your equal. And then, you’ll be able to make an empowered choice.
Drawing the Line
I made this choice myself a decade ago. I was done with unhealthy, toxic relationships. I can still remember exactly where I was standing when I made the declaration, out loud:
"I would rather be happy and single than unhappy in a relationship."
From that moment forward, I committed to making myself whole and happy—no matter how long it took.
Three months later, when I was so in love with my life that I stopped searching for it in another person… Handsome Hubby appeared.
The Work Is Worth It
I’ve done this work myself, and some days, it wasn’t easy. I had to remind myself of my intentions. I had to consciously grow into the person I wanted to become. I had to make new, uncomfortable choices. I had to take action.
But the work led me here—into an incredible marriage, built on wholeness, happiness, and true love.
And I can tell you with absolute certainty:It was worth the wait. It was worth the work.
If you are ready to rewrite YOUR love story, with a coach who has done this herself, there are some opportunities open right now - see below.
The Cosmic Heart is an online course designed to help you break free from old relationship patterns and create the love life you truly deserve. Through deep self-exploration, personal stories, and real-life examples, you’ll uncover the unconscious programs shaping your relationships and learn how to rewrite them. This journey isn’t just about finding love—it’s about becoming the person who naturally attracts deep, fulfilling connections. Whether you're seeking a soulmate, healing from past heartbreak, or simply wanting richer, more meaningful relationships, The Cosmic Heart will guide you to a place of self-love, clarity, and transformation. If you’re ready to change your love life from the inside out, join us. CLICK HERE for more info.
The SHC Intensive is a bespoke live weekend designed entirely by and for YOU. Whether you're ready to elevate your career, deepen your relationships, strengthen self-trust, or create more alignment in your life, this experience is tailored to your unique goals. No rigid agendas, dull presentations, or sterile conference rooms—just transformative individual and group coaching in a luxurious setting. Bring your dreams, desires, and challenges—whether in love, work, or personal growth—and join us in March 2025, Victoria, Australia. CLICK HERE for more info. Save $200 and BONUS available. Limited seats.
Private 1:1 Coaching. Private coaching is for high performers ready to invest in themselves and create lasting transformation. If love is what you’re here to work on, you’ll be guided by someone who’s done this work herself—breaking old patterns, stepping into self-worth, and calling in an extraordinary relationship. Together, we’ll uncover what’s been holding you back, align your vision with your values, and create a strategy that impacts every area of your life. As one client shared, “90% of everything I imagined has materialised, with plans in place for the final 10%.” If you’re ready to shift what’s possible, let’s get started. CLICK HERE to apply.
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